What would you do if your sister waking you up by calling your phone when you were in the deep sleep and by the time you opened the message, it said : “Mom is hospitalized. Pray for her.”
When I read the message, it felt so damn painful, was like the lightning hit you. I froze. Clueless. Speechless. Had no idea what should I do. My eyes got teary, but the tears didn’t drop.
I never learn in school what should I do if something like this happened in my life. Never. It is even no subject in college what you should do in this situation. Are you gonna cry your eyes out all night long? Are you gonna pack your clothes and immediately going home? Or you just calmly wait to see and understand the situation, think wisely, make more alternatives, decide your choice, act, then evaluate? I didn’t even have time to do those things!! I was angry because I didn’t know what should I do. I took a breath, but it seemed so hard. There was something inside that held me. Then I remember the last words of the message that my sister sent.
I folded my hands and pray. And that was when my tears burst out. I needed to be strong, I didn’t want to be a crybaby. But I couldn’t help it. I said the prayer while I was crying.
Minutes and minutes passed. I controlled myself not to cry anymore. Then I sent my sister text, I told her that tomorrow (Monday,red.) I will go back home and asked her what room she’s hospitalized in. It didn’t take long time when my brother called me. He asked me whether I had a class on Wednesday. Unfortunately yes, and I have group presentation. He said there’s no need for me going back home that early, because the day before my mom called me asking when I go back home and I said Friday, to celebrate Christmas Day.
I can wait until Friday to see my mom. Then I said to him to take care of my mom. I could feel my voice was shaky. But immediately I controlled myself not to cry on the phone, I want to show him that I am alright, I am strong.
Then again, I was alone in my room. I had no idea. This is even not in the textbook! What should I do? I ended up crying again, and pray.
What I have been through in twenty years I live, I ever had the worst painful than this. It was when I was 12. But I feel like I am much stronger than before. The 20 years old me is much stronger than the 12 years old me. I was wrong. Might be. Then I think about the hardships I have been through. I know there are many people who had more terrible and harder hardships than I had. And they can survive. Why can not I?
The lessons of life. You don’t have them in school. There was no textbook to guide you. In the end, when you feel that life is freaking hard, when you feel that others will not understand, when you think why this can happen to you, when you feel you are alone, there is always God.
In the end, I bowed my head and called God.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.