Okay, so the story goes right after I had a call from my distant relatives. We don’t share blood. Or the same surname with me, but his surname is the same like my grandmother’s from my father. Complicated? Don’t ask. We are Bataknese, I myself got confused about the family tree of ours. I might say more confusing than Sirius Black’s family tree. I bet.

After the chit-chat-for-nothing, he asked about Korea. Yeah, I am sure my mother told him that I submitted the student exchange scholarship to Daejeon University. I told him that I was not accepted. And yup, he started to preach me. Yes. I know and I believe in God 100%. I believe that I am not going to South Korea this time is not a good and perfect choice for me. I do believe it. What I am trying to say is, I dislike the way he talks about me. I don’t know. May be I am too sentimental.

Then I am telling my mother about not saying anything again about what I am going to do with anybody else. I just hate to be the talk. I just said “Mom, just don’t talk about me with anybody. If I get something, then people will know it after I get it.” I just hate being drama queen and hate more if (s)he being drama queen about my life.

I don’t want to do everyone-must-know thing. I do share about my dreams and wants to people I know. And of course to all of you, readers, whom I don’t know each of you. Through this blog, through my posting. I am just saying that I try to share my dreams because I want someday if I lose my hope, if I lose my faith in myself, I will be reminded by all of you who I ever shared about it.

Just wait until you go to book store and find my novel -written by Ragatnia Clara-. Just wait until I post you lots of picture of me in South Korea. Just wait. Don’t forget to bill me.

Speaking about the family tree. I am thinking about my big family. Oh yes, very big. If I draw a family tree of mine, I am not sure I will only spent a night to make it. And think about the family matters! Ouch, I really hate if it comes to family matters. Really. I am just going to pretend that I’m deaf and blind so I can avoid the matters. It’s not only the matter between your parents, your brother, or sister. It is not. But the matters hooking a big family. It will become a huge disaster. Raise your hand if your big family don’t have a big problem that might bring you into disaster. I am sure there is no one.

This thing makes me re-think about marriage. Hell yeah. I mean.. marriage does not mean that only two persons together, does it? You unite the whole two family. It is not simple. I hold back, scared that my future children will have the same experience. I mean I am still normal. I want to have a happy family, beautiful kids, and grow old together with the husband. Yeah, let’s see… If I have a good reason why you must have a marriage and ready to tie the knots, I will tell you soon. Not that soon. May be a four, five, or six years later? We’ll see…

p.s : holiday. It means I always be ready to have a new appearance of me, right. Enjoy me and my new hair. 🙂


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